Day 1: My book is published.
People ask, "Aren't you excited?"
"Yes," I lie.
Do I sound paranoid? Don't answer that. In fact, don't say anything at all to me this week unless it's some hollow platitude about how nice my book's cover looks or how much you liked the first chapter (you don't actually have to have read the first chapter to say this, by the way).
Or, if you feel too guilty about discussing the book without having read it, just read one of the excerpts on my website. I'll never know the difference.