To avoid exposure to the football over the weekend, I retreated to my office, closed the door and spent the afternoon window shopping online at the big department stores' winter sales. Is it any wonder that Bergdorf Goodman still has countless pairs of gaucho pants to move? Months ago, when the store's buyers were unable to foresee a future when the site's Sales and Values category would be clogged with the repulsive below-the-knee wide pants, virtually any shopper in America could have warned them off the ugly trend. A particularly sick sense of humor led to this pair in tweed.
At Neiman Marcus, a pair of Cole Haan's G Series kitten heel pumps
went wrong in the last possible second of the design process. Affixing a double row of tarnished studs to the back of the heel ruined the whole look. Ghastly. Next time, leave the glue gun at home.
At Saks, the sale category was clogged (along with the ubiquitous gauchos) with evidence that you can push the metallic trend only so far. Such obvious problems as a paisley metallic jacket failed to sell, as did a pair of "gold pebbled lame pants" that are too appalling to show here. With spring just around the corner, I am praying to see no metallic umbrellas, no metallic rainboots and no metallic sport bras in stores.